Indra’s Drishtikona (Viewpoint)

Life at Dusk

Posted : December 29, 2008 at 9:20 pm [IST]

Recently we visited Rihanis. Both of them are in seventies, the husband in late and the wife in early. Just few months ago, Mrs Rihani was in better shape and used to do all marketing in Sunday market for buying vegetables for the week. Rihani used to wait in car, as he had trouble in walking. I was surprised to see Mrs. Rihani using walker. Rihani informed it happened suddenly. Doctors have given some medicines but the recovery is doubtful. The problem is due to age. But both are brave and managing to live well in their apartment in Railway Nagar. A part time maid servant does the cleaning and cooking. And thanks to the home delivery services in Noida, they can get everything at home. Rihani has replaced his old Maruti 800, and goes to Mother Dairy outlet and brings milk, fruits and vegetables.

Rihanis have a son and a daughter. Both are in US, the daughter in San Diego and the son somewhere near Chicago. Last year they arranged an immigrant visa for their parents. Rihanis were in US and returned in last June. Now they can live outside US only for a year. So they will be returning back to US by May 2009. Going to US at this age can’t be a joy with flight taking almost 20 hours or more for the west coast. With whatever pension Rihani may be getting here from railways, he can manage. But for US, the dollar value of the pension must be a peanut. They are to live there dependent on one of the siblings. It must be difficult living for a person as active as Rihani, but with no other interest to pass time but TV and newspaper at the most. The biggest of their worries in living in USA is regarding the medical help required at this age. It is beyond his means or even that of his siblings to bear that unless they get the citizenships of US. With siblings busy in work and their children and restrictions on their movements because of age, the life for them in US also becomes monotonous and difficult. They are still not decided if they will choose US over India. Rihanis want the decision to be left to the siblings.

Rihani never wished to live in US. But now it is the emotional issues that will decide the final abode.

Since I have been with Rihanis, I have also started pondering over how will be my days in the dusk of life. Where will we have our final settlement? With all the children in US and almost no helpful relatives or friends in Noida, will I have to move to US? Who could have thought of this situation? Will that not be a great leap from Pipra to Pleasanton?

My parents were with us when they died. As I have come from a joint family, I am so emotionally attached with the extended family. Now the joint family system as a norm is outdated and dead. Why should I worry on the issues of old parents in India as raised by Prof Dipankar Gupta of JNU recently in an article?

I am getting a little philosophical. I have started wondering why we keep building, furnishing and expanding our nests? Up till now I did build three houses in three locations with lot of dreams. Everywhere I went I collected mementos and I loved to see them around. I did sell the house in the village that I built for my parents. I would have loved to retain that. But after the death of my mother, it was difficult to save that from the unscrupulous relatives there. I am in process of deciding the fate of the other two. We live alone in Noida. This time even when Rakesh was in India, he hardly lived here with us. With three burglaries in Noida’s home and difficulty in maintaining it, I feel like selling and shifting to a small accommodation. Perhaps this is the way that I am keeping myself busy.

Am I thinking all these unnecessarily? Who knows the end? ‘Karmaneya Adhikarastoo, Maa Phaleshu Kadachan’.

- Indra

Category: Personal |